No one knows I'm here...
Some people may say that mentioning death on the second blog post you make is, perhaps, not ideal.
I disagree. No one knows I'm here, and I've been needing to get this off my chest somehow. This is my chance to scream into the void. (Besides the real bad guy here is corporate America... I think we can all relate with that?)
I'm struggling on a lot of fronts. Progress on my Game Dev journey is ridiculously slow, but I'm trying hard not to force it. I really can't afford for that to have the joy sucked out of it.
I wish it were just burnout. A vacation or something similar could help with that. But I find it hard to even relax.
In lieu of a long tragic backstory, I'll simply say two things. First, turns out not everybody gets the fairy tale. Second, while I've pinpointed my personal breaking point to 2016, life got uncomfortably real for me in 2006.
Flash forward to just a couple weeks ago... Having moved from a fairly dark place, I finally found myself (with the help of medication, therapy, art, and gamedev) doing ok. Just ok. But damn I'll take it, ya know?
Was starting to get a few things done at work. And even started to make progress on some creative projects of my own.
Then my dog died. I was wrecked. Two days later my older brother died. I'm still wrecked.
And worse... I'm not ok anymore. The meds aren't keeping up. I barely keeping up at work. Personal projects have stalled.
I'm afraid the meds may not be able to pull me back to ok.
And now my company says we have to go back to the office. No exceptions.
I was expecting that at some point, but when the news came I was panicked.
With No exceptions - They're going to arbitrarily force people away from their coping mechanisms. All so they can force attrition and save some money by not paying severance with another layoff round.
Nobody's falling forn the productivity bullshit. The data says otherwise. And that's how we're supposed to make business decisions.
It's an overtly hostile move towards employees. It's the corporate equivalent of spikes on a park bench.
Screw you corporate America.